For no particular reason, this is the Blonde Edition

This will cover all blondes from Platinum to Strawberry to Streaked to Very Dirty blondes, but I can not guarantee the actual hair color (or natural breast size) of any of the women here

On with the show...

    A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde was very angry about this. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
The blonde did not know how the salesman had recognized her. This time, she got a haircut and new color, a new outfit and big sunglasses. She then waited a few days before she approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.


A blonde was speeding down a highway 'until a cop pulled her over.
He asked if he could see her driver's license.
She turned away and started looking for it. While she was looking the cop started unzipping his fly.
The blonde finally found it and turned back around, she saw his zipper down and said "is this another one of those alcohol breath tests."




One day this guy comes to work at a dido shop. His boss leaves for the day and puts him in charge of the shop.
About an hour later a black haired lady comes in and asks "How much for your black dildos?"
The guy says "30 bucks"  "And how much for your white dildos?" asks the lady.
Again the man says "30 bucks for the black and 30 bucks for the white"
So she takes the black one and leaves.
A while later a brunette comes in to the store and asks "How much for your white dildos?"
The man responds "30 bucks" She asks "And how much for your black dildos?"
"30 bucks for the white and 30 bucks for the black" replies the man.
So she takes the white one leaves.
About an hour later a blonde walks through the door and asks "How much are your dildos?"
The guys says "All our dildos are 30 bucks"
Then she looks up behind the man on a shelf and ask "How much for that plaid one?"
The man responds "Oh, that one is special. That will cost you $250"
The blonde agrees and takes it.
Later that day the boss come back and asks "So what did you sell today?"
The man says "I sold a black dido, a white dido , and your thermos flask for $250!"






One day a brunette, a redhead and a blonde decide to go through their daughter's purses.
So, the brunette goes through her daughter's purse and finds cigarettes. She says, "Oh my god, I'm so ashamed! My Daughter smokes."
So, the redhead goes through her daughter's purse and finds an empty can of beer. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter drinks."
So, finally, it's the blondes turn and she finds a used condom. She says, "Oh my god I'm so ashamed! My daughter has a penis."

To break it up a little, here are a few blondes from my formative years -- and some from today -- smile
For a blonde issue I must have the 50's/60's Hollywood 3 M's -- Marilyn, Mansfield, and Mamie
-- Mamie van Doren  (NOTE: Mamie's husband just took her nude photo at 84 -- still looking good) -- Jayne Mansfield

Some more wonderful blondes -- Angie, Elke, and Helen (She has been nude in a movie every decade since the 60's)

And a few newer blondes
Sharon Stone (including probably the most famous of her scenes) -- Sharon Stone's nude photos in Harper's at age 57 -- looking GREAT

John Drek's last three wives -- Ursula, Linda, and Bo

A few Playboy favorites... Shannon, Anna Nicole, Dorothy, and Pamela
(Note: Pamela will be featured and on the cover of the last nude Playboy--her 14th cover--the record)

Also from Playboy -- the 60's, 70's, and 80's ditzy blonde cartoon strip

One night a man walked into a bar with an alligator.
He stood up on the counter and announced "If I stick my cock and balls into this gators mouth, let the gator shut his jaws and pull them out without a scratch on 'em you'll all buy me a drink."
The crowed looked up at the man and nodded with glee.
So the man whipped out his cock and balls and stuck them in the gators mouth then shut the gators jaws.
A few moments later he hit it on the head with a beer bottle and the gators mouth flung open, he pulled his genitalia out without a scratch.
As he was collecting his first free drink he looked to the crowed and asked if anybody would like to try.
A hush blew over the crowed.
All of a sudden a hand shot up in the back. The blond lady said, "I'll do it, but only if you promise not to hit me in the head with a beer bottle when you're done."

And still with Playboy, The Girls Next Door -- Holly, Bridget and Kendra

Some popular movie blondes -- Charlize, Chloe, Amanda and Cameron

Scarlett, Gwyneth, Drew and Jenny

Back to the non-famous blondes

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were sitting around trying to compare their boyfriends to brands of soda.
The redhead said "My boyfriend is like 7-up. He is seven inches long and he is always up."
The brunette said "My boyfriend is like Mountain Dew. He loves to do it in the Mountains all the time."
The blonde said "My boyfriend is like Jack Daniels."
The brunette cut in "You can't use Jack Daniels. Thats a hard liquor."
A smile crossed the blondes face. "I know"

Last, but certainly not least in a Blonde issue -- Wifey

See you next time for the Superbowl issue

Return to January Index

Return to Main Index

Background Unmutred